Lots of us set ourselves life goals to reach by certain checkpoints in our lives. I used to, and I wanted to tick off x, y and z by the time I reach 27. But that’s less than 18 months away and I’m reconsidering my chosen career path and I’m still very much single. So this has called for a total shift in my expectations.
I’m not reaching these goalposts and that’s okay, but this has meant that AGE can no longer be the defining factor in life goals.
As we experience life, our values may change, as may our criteria for what we want to achieve or how we achieve them. With people seeming to marry later in life and postponing having children until their careers and housing situation is under wraps, why are single woman still bombarded with concerns over not finding their ‘other half’ yet or not settling down and getting knocked up? Why is it that getting married is seen by our society to be the final check-point? In my experience, people always ask women if they’ve found a boyfriend yet and remind these women that ‘he’s still out there – keep looking!’ Do people ask guys whether they have a girlfriend yet? Not in my experience.
I do want to get married and have children (for Christ’s sake, I have a blog dedicated to finding my Prince Charming!!), but I really ought to be enough. We don’t need to be married to have children, and in 2017 we barely need a man for this.
Recently, it’s become very obvious that any man won’t do. He has to be the right man, and if that means waiting until I’m 30, so be it.
What I do believe is worth spending time in cultivating is making yourself a more interesting person – try out various activities, make time for your family and friends, excel at your career. Make and strengthen friendships that will see you through good and bad times – we have complete control over the friends we chose in our 20s. At school, we are thrust into classes of 29 other children and we just have to get along with them. And this continues until we’re 18. After we leave school can we can totally avoid social interactions outside of work and we can even choose a career that requires no socialising whatsoever, so we need to have friendships that help us develop into better versions of ourselves. We are who we hang out with and we need to behave like the people we’d want to know.
So I’ve decided to stop accepting the ‘so-so’ guys. Their company does nothing for me: they suck the joy from my soul and I feel like a weaker version of myself. I work double-time to keep us afloat and with my full-on career, I can’t be dealing with that. I want a man who will strengthen me. He needs to compliment what I have to offer the world, and be charming at the same time.
If anyone knows the name of the book this image is from, please comment and let me know!