Posted in Starting Something New

‘Who knows what a date might lead to…?’

This is the strapline Match.com use for their TV advert. It features a young male and female prancing round corn fields, making crop circles, akin to those in Signs:

Aside from the obvious issue that I wouldn’t class making crop circles as a viable first date, and this activity is totally impractical in England, what the advert could really do with explaining is how these two even managed to find each other on Match.com.

As my membership on Match draws to a close, I think what a waste of money it was. I seemed to have paid £20 to have a boring conversation with one man about his job and to be incessantly ‘winked at’ by an array of unattractive, older men.

Match.com offers plenty of ways to start interacting with a potential ‘match’ – yet this may be it’s biggest downfall. Not only does it take a few days to get used to the site and to understand what every button does, but it also encourages laziness. The website promotes a wink as cheeky, but it’s really just plain lazy. It offers a ‘Daily 6’ – which is basically a rip-off from Tinder. If you express interest in one of these 6, then they are automatically added to your favourites.

    The Daily 6 function also claims to learn your preferences in a man – this is a lie. According to Daily 6, I’m only interested in 20 year olds….

Maybe I’m being fussy
Or
Maybe the men on Match.com are desperate. Is paying for a site in itself desperate?

    Am I desperate?

God I hope not.

Posted in Starting Something New

Opening Lines

AKA chat-up-lines; but this is online, so not quite the traditional boy-approaches-girl-in-a-bar situation.

The basic premise of online dating is that you meet people you don’t know. With this in mind, you have nothing to lose when starting a conversation with someone.
This can be both good and bad.

Good

because if you are the one to initiate a conversation and they decide not to reply, hey ho, nothing lost, so what?

Bad

because, with this lack of personal embarrassment, almost anything goes:

Straight to the point:

    ‘Fancy hooking up?’
    ‘We should go on a date’

Trying to spark some interest:

    ‘Can I ask you something…?’

Flattery:

    ‘You win at being hot’

    Or my personal favourite – Innuendos:

      [Talking about flicking through photos on Tinder]:
      Him: ‘You know something I could flick?’
      Me: ‘Tell me’
      Him: ‘Your bean?’
      Me: ‘Oh my. How forward’
      Him: ‘No point ferreting around the bushes :p’
      [Talking about going to the pub, but I’m currently busy]:
      Him: ‘Oh c’mon. I’ll let you sit on my face?’

    Tinder is heralded as ‘the hooking up app’. So I suppose why not assume that everyone is on there for a good time, and say it as it is? The worse that will happen is you are ‘unmatched’; the best being you get a shag.
    But surely, with match.com being paid subscription only and POF having the option to pay for an upgrade, you’d expect men to be of a higher calibre on these sites?!

    Or maybe men are fed up with dead-end conversations with girls; slowly getting to know them over messages, showing interest in what they did this weekend, only to be blown-off for their date because the girl became ‘ill’.

    In which case, fair enough.

Posted in Friends

Guys and gals…

Why can’t girls and guys be friends when they’re single?
I can understand why the ex and I can’t be friends (as he has a girlfriend and I’m so bloody single), but why can’t girls be friends with guys who are also single?
Every bloke I know who is single – and I’m genuinely friends with (on a going-out-for-coffee basis) – I’m not proper friends with; either we’ve slept together, or I fancy them and just can’t be “normal” with them.

There’s been a few issues with the ex for the past year or so. First we ignored each other, then we were flirty friends, then we were friends with benefits then we ignored each other. Now I hope we can be friends.
However, whenever I suggest we go for coffee for a drink, he’s busy.
Likewise, a guy I had some fun with at uni won’t reply my casual texts asking about his new job…. I just don’t get it.
And I promise I’m not a text stalker!!!

Is it because I’m single that they tread carefully along the friend line? Is there a risk I may become emotionally involved ??

Well obviously – but they don’t need to know that.

I reckon it’s all much more simple when everyone is coupled off and everyone can get along. But until then I’ll keep fantasising about my sexy male friends and regretting the nights which ruined my chances of being just friends.