Posted in Uncategorized

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here's an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 290 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted in Starting Something New

Tell Me Something Interesting.

At the suggestion of a friend, I’ve approached Tinder slightly differently.

Her suggestion: start the conversation with:

    ‘Tell me something interesting’

I’m pretty ruthless on Tinder and regularly delete people who don’t talk. So of the 18 matches I currently had going, I hadn’t begun talking to about 11 of them. Having been out for many cocktails with the aforementioned friend, I took the plunge.

All 11 new matches had the opening line: ‘Tell me something interesting’ pop up on their phones.

48 hours later and the results were mixed:

  • 5 guys were silent. Clearly very boring with nothing noteworthy to share (naturally, soon to be deleted).
  • 1 told me what I already knew from his profile: eye colour and profession and ‘that’s pretty much it’…riveting.
  • 1 had a great story about how he got tyre marks on his bed (definitely a winner).
  • And the other 4 responded with cheesy flattery.

This was an eye-opening experience.

In conclusion:

    • 55% of guys on Tinder are pretty dull.
    • 9% of guys are interesting.
    • 36% of guys are just interested in getting in girls’ knickers.

So only go on Tinder if:

a) you like boring men

or b) you’re dying for a shag.

Posted in Friends, Single Life

Disappearing Acts…

Sometimes people disappear when they have a new relationship.
Sometimes people disappear even if they’ve been with their partner for a long time.
Other times, people can live in an all-consuming bubble of happiness where their only concern is for the one they love.

This is fine if you’re the one disappearing from the face of the planet and living in a warm and cosy bubble. But not okay if you’re the one being ditched.

    Yet it’s not just people in relationships who disappear.

There have been times I’ve been chatting to guys on Tinder, or whatever, and we’ve been messaging, texting etc (sometimes back and forth constantly all day), and then there is just silence.


Really, what is that all about? I’ve looked back over messages to see if I said something wrong, but I can honestly say I didn’t. It’s very, very odd. And it happens more often than I feel it should.

Are people too worried to say they’re no longer interested? Make up any excuse; I’m not so sure that silence is better.

It even happens out and about. You could be at the bar speaking with someone fab, you pop to the loo and come back to an empty bar.

Where are all these people going?
Is there a fun party going on and I’m not invited?

I’m aware I’m single. Let’s not rub it in.

Posted in Single Life

It’ll be Lonely this Christmas…

Single at Christmas – joyous or horrendous?

On one hand, it’s a very sociable time of year with Christmas parties and dinners and lots of opportunities to meet exciting new people. On the other hand, most of these parties and dinners are filled with couples or old relatives asking if you’ve ‘got a boyfriend yet?‘ and you respond ‘no‘ for the third year running.

There’s also lots of good things on TV, meaning you can watch Love Actually for the 100th time by the second week of December and there’s no-one by your side to whinge. But there’s no-one by your side to cuddle up to, which is a bit of a bugger. Consuming a whole bottle of red wine and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s alone isn’t ideal. Yet there’s no-one to judge you for putting on a bit of ‘winter-weight’.

You have no obligation to buy the mother-in-law a ‘Waterstones Recommends‘ book, or a father-in-law a pair of M&S socks, but you also have no-one to buy you that beautiful necklace you’ve had your eye on or someone to run-away from the boring work-do with.

I suppose it depends on your views towards Christmas. If you’re apathetic towards it and would rather stay away from all the happy people, thinking ‘bah-humbug’ then you’ll probably be alright trudging through December alone. However, if you’re like me and fanatical about Christmas, then it’s the worst time in the year to be single. Two years ago, on Christmas Eve, I split up from my boyfriend of seven years. Although it was my decision, the sadness over the Christmas period was mainly due to break-up blues, rather than explicitly about being single over the holidays. Last year I couldn’t quite believe I was still single. I remember telling my sisters that ‘I’ll definitely have a boyfriend by next Christmas‘. With 16 sleeps ’til Christmas, I’m not counting my eggs…

But things aren’t all bad; the new job is going well, I’m crazy-busy all the time (see ‘Keeping Busy’ below) and have some fun things planned for Christmas.

Mud really should have called the song, ‘It’ll be Lonely this January’ as that’s when the shit hits the fan. Everyone abstains from drinking, no-one has any money and all the couples seem to stay indoors, cuddling together.

So this is a plea to my friends: please don’t forget about your Festive Friend come January, being single at this time of year wasn’t the plan.