Posted in Future, Single Life

Thank you for judging my life, Mr Taxi Driver.

At £2.20 I was making small talk with the cabbie.  He asked how my night was, what I’d been doing and who I’d been with.  I asked how his night was.

By £4.10 he was asking about my social life, whether I was out with my boyfriend.  ‘No – I don’t have a boyfriend.’

‘Oh, if I could turn back time…’

Awkward stare out the window.

By £6.70 I was saying how I’m only 24, progressing through my career as a teacher and enjoying spending time with my friends.  Then the fare soared (metaphorically, of course).  He ranted on about how being 24 is the perfect age to get married and start a family.

Don’t focus on your career; it should take up 30% of your time and your real life should take up the remaining 70%.

As we approached the end of my road, I was batting off his comments by advocating my housemate-filled life.

At £8.80 he said, ‘housemates are a waste of time’.

I handed him a tenner and waited for my £1 change.  That cab drive definitely cost me more than £9.

 

 

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Posted in Single Life

Stupid girl.

A year ago today, my ex and I were blissfully happy.  We both messaged a bit this morning and had a nice phone call.  We were talking about how funny it’s been a year and how it’s actually rather sad we’re no longer together.

The conversation was frank:

  • We miss each other.
  • We still love each other.
  • He is spiralling down.
  • I want to help him.
  • We don’t just want to be friends, but we also kind of do.
  • We’re confused.

He still loves me and doesn’t just want to be my friend – he wants to be my boyfriend.  In fact, we can’t be friends at all.

I say my sister is coming to visit in Brighton this afternoon; does he want to jump in the car?  (Of course he’ll say no).

He said yes.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck.  *Phone call with sister – mental panic.*

Another honest phone call.

Him visiting is a bad idea.  I’ll see him, want to jump on him, undoubtedly fall in love with him again – we haven’t seen each other since the break up 3 months ago.

He’s confused…

We talk about our relationship; he misses me lots.  We still love each other.  He says he needs to get his shit together.  I agree.  He says he isn’t what he thinks I need; that I deserve more.  I’m surprised – what does he mean?  He says I need someone who lives in Brighton, has a steady job, doesn’t drink so much.  I tell him the distance was a problem and the drinking and the drugs were also an issue; but he’s stopped that – so we’re on to a winner and that if he gets his shit together I’ll get back with him.  After all, I am still in love with him.

Then he drops a bomb.

“I think it’s best that we just stay friends.”

“Wow.”

“Wow?”

*Hypocrite – he just said we can’t be friends and he wants to be my boyfriend.  He just said he’s getting his shit together and I opened the champagne and said I’d get back with him at the drop of a hat in that case, and then he says that.*

He says he just wishes we never broke up.  Of course we needed to break up – he chose drugs over me and lied to me.

He said to message him at some point.  I told him to message me.  I’m always the one who initiates friendly chat.

*Hangs up.*

Stupid girl for falling again.

And then I receive a message that says: I’m really sorry.