Date Week

1 – First online blind date in a while.

  • I feel excited for this one (he’s attractive in his photos and he seems fun).
  • He doesn’t really look like his photos and he doesn’t seem like he’d be much fun.
  • I don’t think he fancies me; he doesn’t look me in the eyes very often.
  • He answers 2 phone calls during our date.
  • Then his mate happens to bump into us at the back of the bar.  His mate is drinking alone, I am kind and say he should join us.  He says he’ll finish his drink quickly…
  • 40 minutes later, I’m sat opposite these 2 guys.  I’m on my 2nd glass of wine – both guys are still nursing their single beer.  I’m not being included in conversation about close friends and it’s hard to get involved.
  • I text my housemate, ‘please save me’.

  • 5 minutes before she arrives, I say she’s here and I have to go.  I stand up, and say ‘thank you’ and ‘nice to meet you’.
  • Neither of the guys stand up.
  • Neither say ‘bye’.

  • Hysterical, I get into the car.
  • At home, his text says, ‘Apologies.  Tactful is not the word’.
  • I delete his number.

 

2 –  It can’t be any worse than the first date.

  • He’s late.
  • He barely says hello before rushing to the bar for a beer.
  • He drinks it so quickly.
  • Did he google, ‘what to ask on a first date’?  This feels like an interview with my least favourite question in, ‘so what are your hobbies?’
  • I rarely feel awkward and am usually bubbly on a first date, but I’m working overtime this evening to keep conversation flowing.
  • He seems to aspire towards a staccato date.
  • 20 minutes in, I suggest we play Jenga.  Surely this’ll help him loosen up and chat.
  • Oh silly me.  
  • I’ve managed to find a guy who can make Jenga seem dull…

  • By 8pm, I’ve been clock-watching for 20 minutes.  How early is too early to leave?  Is it rude?
  • It’s now half 8.  I’m throwing in the towel.
  • ‘I’d like to come back to yours for a glass of wine’, he tells me.
  • ‘I’ve got an early start tomorrow, so no’.
  • ‘Just one glass’.
  • ‘Sorry, I’m getting in the cab’.

 

3 – I’m meant to have a date tonight.

  • I’m going to cancel.

 

 

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