How to be a grown-up.

At 25, I reckon I’m doing a pretty good job of being an adult.  Things go tits-up sometimes, but I learn from these mishaps.  Being an open-book and a natural advice-giver, I often share with my friends what I’m doing to be a successful grown-up and tell them how they can be a grown-up too (I wonder if they appreciate the unsolicited advice…).

Personal experience has driven most of this list, but fear not, I’ve also included advice from various female writers who I bang on about to my friends and family.  All.  The.  Time.

So here we go, as far as being a female –

Being a grown-up involves:

  • Looking after yourself – make doctor appointments, get on top of your sexual health, go to the opticians, go to the dentist.  Even when you have to pay.  You cannot put a price on good health.  Neither can you put a price on having good hands and feet; cracked heels are a feature of some pensioners and bitten down nails tend to be synonymous with teenagers.
  • Moisturising.  Wearing SPF all year round.
  • Eating avocados.  If there’s a God, these are God’s gift to humanity.
  • Wearing fabulous lippy.  Lipstick if you’re blessed with full lips, lip-gloss if your upper lip leaves a lot to be desired (I wear lip-gloss on most occasions).
  • Being truthful when friends ask advice on an outfit when shopping.  We are no longer in competition with our friends as to who’ll look the coolest or sexiest at Saturday’s party.  By lying, you run the risk of that friend wearing the terrible when you’re out together and you’ll have to put up with that the whole day.  No one wants that kind of hassle.  Great advice, Roxane Gay.
  • Losing the amount of fucks you give‘, says Caitlin Moran.

  • Knowing what you want, but not being worried if the plan you had when you were 17 isn’t working out.
  • Trusting yourself.  Your body knows what it needs, let it have it.

Being a grown-up necessitates:

  • Being kind.  Be generous with your time and money.  Being kind is so so sexy.
  • Sticking with plans.  Better-offer-itus is a teenage condition.  Don’t flake, you won’t end up with many friends.
  • Behaving like the person you’d want to be friends with.
  • Being friendly with friends’ significant others.  But for god sake, don’t flirt with them.  Do not have sex with them.  And don’t have emotional affairs with them.  If they engage in this behaviour with you, they’re an arsehole.  Your friend shouldn’t be with this arsehole and you certainly don’t want to be with an arsehole.  They are ‘abundant’; get one of your own.  Thanks Roxane Gay – excellent advice!
  • ‘Having confidence levels high enough to kiss the exterior walls of ‘arrogance’ without ever transgressing wholly into that territory’, according to Polly Vernon.  Yes!
  • Reading excellent non-fiction.  Expand your ideas.  Strengthen your ideas and be able to discuss these ideas coherently.
  • Keeping up to date with current affairs.
  • Knowing how to cook nutritional meals.  Pizza is delicious on a Tuesday.  Curry is yummy on a Sunday night.  But eating shit every day will make you fat, your insides gross and you’ll feel sad.
  • Trying not to drunk call your exes, call your friends instead; then you can have a giggle about it the next day rather than hiding your head under your pillow all day.

Being a grown-up could mean:

  • Trying new things – go to new bars / pubs / restaurants.  Try classes, find some hobbies.  Be willing to give things a go.  Meet friends as an adult.
  • Reading good literature.
  • Finding someone with whom you want to share your life.  If so, you need to find someone you can be honest with and they can be honest with you.

 

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