Trying to work out what I want from a relationship has been tricky, and through making mistakes in dating people, I’ve mainly discovered what I don’t want. But on Saturday night I figured it out with a friend. What I want is balance.
I want someone who balances with me:
- They have similar life aspirations
- They are at the same stage in their life
- They have similar outlooks for life
- They have a similar attitude about a social life and maintaining a work / life balance
This follows from another bad date this weekend. Having spoken for only a handful of days, and seeing only one photo of Mr Fake, I didn’t have my hopes up. But I can’t complain about being single if I’m not being proactive in pursuing a relationship. When he approached me at our meeting point, I was a little shocked, he was not this tall, slim, tanned man I was anticipating on meeting. Quite the opposite. Not one for being rude, I was polite and chatty and we had a few drinks in Camden Lock, in the lunchtime sunshine. There was no chemistry. His kind and intelligent personality sadly didn’t make up for the fact that I felt totally tricked into a meet up.
I discovered he isn’t one for a social life, and work takes up all of his time (and I got the impression this was because he allowed it to, rather than by necessity). The chat wasn’t my style; it was forced at times and I felt judged for being hungover post-Shoreditch party. He referred to himself as ‘an old man’.
Ermm… no thanks.
We wouldn’t have worked, even if I felt compelled to try.
Because weren’t balanced.